I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
