This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
