Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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