why do cheetos always look like penises
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I want is dick and wine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
