Pappa wants mamma naked
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize