Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize