if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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