sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
