Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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