Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
