in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
