So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
