He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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