I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They have beer where we have blood.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
