I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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