I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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