I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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