just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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