3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
