I want to have your abortion
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just had sex on a roof
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
