oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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