My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
how drunk are you?
Several
I am mentally ready for anal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
