You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just tell him i said nine months
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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