dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
