thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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