Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
