Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have fence marks all over my body
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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