I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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