I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
