So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
