ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
