dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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