I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize