he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
