Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize