1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
