is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
