redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
