This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
