u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
