enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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