I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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