I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
