i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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