i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
