Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize