the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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