You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
