she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize