Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
