Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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