Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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