if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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