explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the liver wants what the liver wants
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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