elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
