Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
