3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
