I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
