So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you made out with another girl for some wings
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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