Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
