Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
