Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
