fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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