Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize