i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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