so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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