fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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