I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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