i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize